The Light In Your Eyes

I was standing at the aisle which had tomatoes in this huge supermarket, wondering which tomatoes to buy! Yup! Cause there were vine tomatoes, cherry tomatoes, normal tomatoes, the organic variety, reduced price ones, tomatoes sold loose, in trays of 4/ 6 pieces or in bags of different weights & I'm not going into which country they were imported from! As usual I stood there for a few seconds wondering what to pick up...sour ones, sweet ones, ripe ones, dry or juicy ones....!

I felt the presence of a thin man, around 6 feet tall near me trying to pick some tomatoes. What made me look up to his face was that he was feeling the different crates and their contents rather than picking the tomatoes. I realised he was blind & my natural, spontaneous reaction was to guardedly observe him. His hands seemed to be restlessly looking for something & I looked around to see if anyone else in the same aisle was watching him. But no I was the only one. I wondered if he was looking for a plastic bag & observed that there wasn't a bag roll on the tomatoe side of the aisle. If he wanted a bag did he need anyone to get him one?

He suddenly spoke very loudly - Can I get a bag? I had in anticipation, unconciously moved to the bag roll stand already. Quickly gave him the 2 bags I snatched from the stand. He mumbled a careless sort of 'Thanks' & also surprised me with his agility when he felt one bag slip & ducked down to save it from falling to the ground! I unnecessarily suppressed a complex smile. A happy smile in admiration of his reflexes mixed with a guilty one that wondered why I had been so gifted with sight. There are times where I feel apologetic and guilty for what I have; I know it is not right to feel so...but well I do at times.

He then said - Where are the potatoes? This is the first time I'm at this Tesco (the super market)
I replied - They're on the other side of this aisle, 3rd crate ahead from where you are now.
He said - 'Cheers mate', and moved on.

My directions and his instincts led him and the first crate he touched was the one with Potatoes!

A happy smile escaped and spread across my face.

The fact is my mind was full of confused, uncomfortable questions when I realised he was blind. I didn't know whether at that moment he felt his cup was half full or half empty.....& I didn't know whether he wanted or needed any help or how he would react to my 'helping hand'.

I then realised that I was the one with all the complicated questions about life while he gave me the answers. He told me his cup was half full :) !

Ironically, I felt that I was the one who needed the help and guidance to handle my confused feelings :)

I got back to my Tomato problem while he had already finished filling his second bag with potatoes and had moved on :)

Pointless Distance

Perhaps this will remain a silent soliloquy...
Of words longing for their souls to be free,
But in your understanding does lie the key,
That what is, is not what you see.


The air's bereft of friendship's blooming fragrance,
Only lasting memories give past their credence,
Now all that lies is this pointless distance,
Some sinking shadows, some stalking silence.


In the dark hours the regretful Psyche,
Does wonder of what was and what might be...
The lamp so lit, lost was all she could see,
In time will you regressa a mi?

Lunatic Lows

...She does not wane, but my fortune,
Which her rays do not bless,
My wayward path declineth soon,
But she shines not the less.

And if she faintly glimmers here,
And paled is her light,
Yet always in her proper sphere
She's mistress of the night.

- Selected verses by Henry Thoreau

Perhaps some of you will think - 'Aah what a typical Cancerian - governed by the Moon'. Others will tick me off as a lunatic. But after the memorable Solar eclipse; last night, I was really looking forward to the Partial Lunar Eclipse ... and greatly disappointed that I couldn't even see the Moon!

If you have ever snail walked with me some night you'd remember that I have pointed out the mesmerising, magical, playful Moon who's presence may not have registered in your mind. She excites even the mighty ocean....mine is but a mortal heart!

I'd been noting the movements of the Moon so that I'd know where to look for her on the 16th.
Last night both of us were really tired after a long day doing this and that. After a hurried dinner I wanted to catch the eclipsed Moon climbing. But I couldn't see her from the staircase in the building...which she too has been climbing past few days. So we both walked out on the desolate streets to become aware that it was drizzling & was quite cloudy!

With me singing -
Chand pe daag hai yeh jaante hum lekin
Raat bhar dekhe bina usko raha nahi jaata
...khoobsurat hai woh itna saha nahi jaata...

But the Moon did not greet us. Shadowed by the Earth....hidden by the clouds.

Ohh! Trophy of the Night ..where were you?
Upon whom did your gaze linger?
Could you not offer so much as one fleeting glimpse?

Seeking the Celestial

Last Friday I'd gone to the Royal Observatory to catch the Partial Solar Eclipse. It was truly an out of the world experience!

Left home at around 8am....takes about an hour to the Royal Observatory from home. They opened early that morning to let the public observe the eclipse.

The Royal Observatory from Greenwich Park

The atmosphere was fully charged. With children chanting a countdown in the moments before the eclipse started & screaming out that they were the first to spot the beginning of the eclipse!

The coverage was partial (12% by area) over London. Nevertheless, I was quite excited...to see the Moon orbiting the Earth orbiting the Sun! It was beautiful to see the Moon just glide across the face of the Sun.

The photo was taken using a Coronado telescope. The Coronado telescope has a 'hydrogen-alpha' filter - it lets through the red colour light emitted by the hydrogen gas on the Sun. The Observatory staff was really helpful and enthusiastic. Did remember Professor Yashpal & his coverage of the eclipse on Doordarshan !

It was a little difficult to get the shot of the eclipse for several reasons - there were many people wanting to observe through the telescope hence we got little time to take photos. So it was important that my eyes got the exact angle to catch the eclipse through the telescope & my hands didn't shake with excitement (& ya I do suck at photography!) and importantly.... no lazy cloud drifted by at that exact moment!

I suppose you can tell how thrilled I was about it !

PS - For MSB - Geographer & my eternal guiding star

View from the observatory
The London Eye, Queen's house, wings of National Maritime Museum, the towers of Citigroup, HSBC and others

The Serenity Prayer

It's funny how some of the prayers I'd detest saying as a kid....had forgotten all about as years flew by....just come back to me when my spirits are low.

This one came just at the right time. My mind has many voices screaming out their unsolicited opinions.

But I'll let this prayer echo in the silence of my heart.

Lord,
give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.

Dead But Not Asleep

I closed my eyes and held my breath
The wait just seemed so endless
And when I felt I could take no more
I heard a voice, a strange calm it bore

A pale and melancholy form did I behold
Of someone who would take me in her fold
And lead me to joys unfelt...untold
A vision I longed to touch and hold

I waved at loved ones on either bank
No more talk of my ship that sank
I've finally found my vision my goal
Thank God I've finally found my soul

In a strange delirium I ran down the stream
I ran and ran to hold on to that dream
Her twinkling eyes like million moon beams
Under her gaze the pebbles like petals did seem

But wait have I come far and gone astray
I look back ..theres no one even far away
Just then her sweet anklet music did play
And once more in her promises did I sway

Hopes are for those who believe in tomorrow
Future for those who have some 'time' to borrow
The inner shadows of myself did I follow
Dreams that are dark, deep and hollow

I found myself in the ocean of such streams
There were many who had tried living their dreams
Had I lost myself or found myself in my dreams
I know I will not find answers -No...not even in my dreams

PS - A poem of the past

All The World's A Stage

All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players:
They have their exits and and their entrances;

....The famous soliloquy from Shakespeare's As You Like It.

& there can't be a more magnificent stage than Life itself & yes...the dramatic setting of the 750 seater Minnack Theatre!

With its vertigo inducing seating and circular amphitheatre thrusting out over the Atlantic, it's an unforgettable place to watch a play.

Guess what it was built piece by piece by an eccentric Rowena Cade...who carted the wood, sand & stone from the beach in a battered wheel barrow! The first production was Shakespeare's The Tempest.

I had probably seen the picture of this place in my childhood....or maybe it was a place I'd visited in my dreams! I was just so excited! I unashamedly took a bow on the stage...whatta brilliant performance I'd just given :D! Just when I'd lost all inhibitions....I heard a loud voice from behind saying - 'Dekho Dekho woh ladki kaise pose maar rahi hai' I turned around to see 4 desi junta watching me ...without realising that I could understand what they'd just said! I gave them one of my ' :D' .....dazzlers ;) !

So among the white sands, turquoise ocean, blue skies....there was a blushing red me! :P :P :P !

PS - Ok since I was writing about a theatre....by sheer coincidence I seem to be listening to Dil Dance Maare Re, Tashan. I can't help laughing at the rustic & ballistic lyrics and this 'Theatre Booking' verse in particular -

Hoye… tohare dil ka theatre ma aaa….
Tohare dil ka theatre ma
Dil deewana booking advance maare re!!!

lol :D!

Tug Of War

It's just one of the days of dilemma
When my heart and mind speak a different language

The inner voice echoes in the depths of silence
And silence tries to deafen the voice to a memory.

To win or loose

To give to each moment or to take from each moment

To find happiness in myself or to find it in others

To live this moment as if its the last I have
Or as if it's the first of the rest of my life

To silence your words
Or word my silence

To tell you to get lost
Or to get lost in you

ps - I chose to win and loose

Introspection and a Resolution

If I have to describe 2007 it would definitely be a year of great Introspection and Self Realization for me - Who Am I? What is my Purpose in Life? Where do I go to from here in Life?

I can't say I've found all my answers but I have definitely got a few and thought a lot about the others.

It is often the most simple experiences in life that have made me start questioning my Mind.

I spent 1 month in a village 100 kms from Bangalore
It was the first time I travelled in the front seat of a lorry :D!
I stayed there in my Sister's house with no neigbours around at a radius of 1 km.
With absolutely no form of electricity (they now generate solar power to meet all their requirements which don't include a tv, washing machine, mixer, fridge and so called 'essential' gizmo)
With no taps, no flowing water, just a manually operated tube well some 200 m away from the house.

-I planted a few saplings Banyan, Banana, Neem! Prepared a patch for Methi, which was later consumed :)!
-I pumped water manually - about 100 litres a day - real back breaking exercise! But lost a few kilos too :D! It's tougher than it looks, but something which gets real easy once the technique is mastered. Here's a Dummies Guide :P to Using a Hand Pump -
Bend at your waist, don't bend your back
Stand at a height so that you can use your body weight to pump out the water.
Don't bend your hands at the elbow or legs at the knees - keep them straight
Pump the water with rhythmic motion at a steady pace - you'll be able to go on for a long time without tiring easily
Look out for that bird, bee or butterfly....catch the sunrise or sunset :)

I watched almost 30 consecutive sunrises and sunsets :)! Brushed my teeth in the open while watching the the clear blue, pollution free skies hold up their shining trophy - the Sun! Yes I got up and slept with the Sun. All rise at 5:30am and finish dinner before it gets dark (no electricity you see!)

-Spotted a fox running in the open!
-Stepped several times on snake skin!!!
-Used hot water which was heated using various dry parts of the Coconut tree and cow dung cakes! Also used the paper cups used during the house warming party to help us heat water!

-I watched the Moon climb step by step into the dark night. The sky revealing all its secrets - its stars. I observed the stars and looked for musical notes that the arranged themselves in the tune of some grand celestial symphony maybe? Did a little bit of star gazing in the real sense :)

-Learnt the technique of mulching.
-Saw a rainbow bridging one end of the horizon to another :)! :)! :)!

-Realized that our family was using 1/10 the amount of water we used in Bangalore. Naturally, it was hard earned water....water we'd pumped using our sweat and energy....& not some pump run by electricity. We automatically used/ re used water sparingly. Infact, we used just what we needed. There was little if any wastage of water.

-Ate vegetables that had been picked from the fields just minutes before cooking.

I can go on writing about the experiences of a month - an experience like nothing else I've had in all my life.

But there are a few important things that I realised in the silent solitude I experienced close to nature.

There are really so few things one really needs for a comfortable life. I don't know why we complicate life - crave for things that Don't eventually lead to the Happiness we seek.

I couldn't live forever in such an environment. I've become to used to the idea that material comforts bring happiness. But I'm trying to change the way I think.

Cause... you know, suddenly, Nature in all it's beauty touched me like nothing else. When I came out of my self imposed exile and visited Bangalore - I was shaken by the noise, the pollution, the mad rush and the blind eyes of others that just didn't seem to notice it all!

I want my children to see that beautiful delicate pink flower, that spotted butterfly, that shy hare, the restless sparrow! I want them to be around!

I don't want my children to inherit a world less beautiful than what I got - because I left it in a mess!

I don't want to wait for the Government to change environmental policies, or companies to improve on their corporate social responsibilities or activists to go on a hunger strike. Nor do I want to put it off for the right time because I have personal commitments in life. I don't want to make excuses - I simply can't bear the guilt.

I want to be the Change I want to see in this World! I want to be significant to someone...something other than my family and friends! I know that I can and I want to make that difference...however insignificant!

I know I can't go completely green....but here's what I will do to pacify that inner voice that doesn't allow me to sleep at night. Small changes in lifestyle that I could implement easily ...not big sacrifice or lifestyle change like it was in the village. But small things I could really put to practice which would be my positive contribution.

I'll ask myself everyday-

- Did you carry extra bags to the market so that you didn't need to take a plastic bag?
- Did you walk that extra bit and avoid taking a cab or auto?
-Did you turn of all the extra lights that were on? Or switch of the computer, tv when not in use?
-Did you use water sparingly?
-Were both sides of paper used in a computer printout. Did you minimize taking printouts in the first place?
- Did I keep myself more aware of various environmental issues?
- Could I have given in a little less to temptation - avoided buying plastic non bio degradable stuff?
-Did I get my neices, nephews and youngsters I know to appreciate Nature in all its glorious forms? Cause only when you treasure it will you preserve it!

- Finally, did I haunt a few friends like you dear reader into implementing atleast some of the above yourselves and encouraging you to remind me incase I forgot? :)

For all those who are with me to make that change - a cap for you, made out of a cardboard pizza base cut in half, with waste paper made by yours truly (made for my nephew when he turned 3!). Yeah Recycle, Reuse and Renew!

Let's not blow it - Good planets are hard to find! :)