This Summer has been really good. We went for a Bird Walk at Regents Park. We really didn't see many birds (wish I could go to Ranganathittu again!) -we had even bought binoculars for the occasion - but I guess you need to go for several such bird walks till you actually start looking out for the birds and not spotting mere movement of leaves after the bird has flown off! The walk was really refreshing. I've never really been a 'nature lover'.... but I guess things were just getting too much for me and so for the first time I too visited a place where I was free of mundane thoughts - actually free of any thought. The best part was I didn't know what to expect - what birds I would see, I barely saw any; yet I got beyond my expectation.
The other was the Butterfly walk at Richmond Park. Richmond park has wild deer. I was not very enthusiastic cause I felt the chances of actually seeing them was slim. But when i found out about the Butterfly Walk we did go for it.
There is something about nature - such unparalleled beauty and yet so unpretentious. We went in search of only butterflies - stumbled upon spiders, grasshoppers, nameless insects,flowers, beautiful trees - some decaying some blossoming yet all playing their indispensable role. Even the dead rotting tree-on which moss grew, under which mushrooms grew, beside it lay a dead crow which had made the tree it's tombstone, in it was an ant home and on it several people like me had sat, lost in thought.
Nature has her own moods. And not just the extreme ones. The birds turned lazy because it was a cold day & hence we saw fewer birds on the Bird Walk day. The butterflies decided it was no time to tap dance from one flower to another on a windy day, and hence we saw less of them.
I was completely captivated by a butterfly, surprisingly not for its stunning beauty but by its silent magnetism. I had long before got frustrated and given up my ambitious plan of going after a specific butterfly and trapping it in a photograph. But this temptress (Speckled Wood) literally drew me. Made me feel like, I guess, a confused schoolboy in complete admiration for his first crush. I didn't know whether to show my interest and pursue the beauty or behave utterly nonchalant and walk on by. I would shamelessly follow ....she would shyly disappear. I would loose heart.... & she would appear! This went on for 10 minutes. She was so unsure of me....and I was sure of loosing either her or my group which had gone ahead. I would look back at the group gathering together to discover another treasure and wonder what I was missing out on. She sensed my hesitation...judged my insincerity....posed long enough for me to take a picture (that will never do justice to her free spirit) and waved off a dismissal to this schoolboy for ever!
The informative walk should have left me more wise..I realized I knew nothing.
I was a bit tired, hungry and very philosophical. Here I was in a world where the roads didn't have names, there was no map, my mobile network was weak, my leather wallet could only antagonise a wild animal further, my only defense if I met a deer would be to raise my hands in the air and prove I'm not there to harm (as instructed by our guide).
Yet I felt one with this world.
We took a break. Sadly, those few extra moments I got while eating an apple made me live not for the present moment...but for the future. 'Time' and 'Place' regained possession of the mind and banished peace.
The butterfly had made me feel forlorn and I was in no mood to go looking for deer which maybe anywhere in the large park and would look exactly like the one in any wildlife book or channel!!!
I had things to do - a train to catch, food to cook, a house to hoover, a machine cycle to run.......which is when I saw my first wild deer out of simply nowhere.
My excitement was no less than Sita's may have been - but my deer was much more than hers - my deer was REAL!
We both ran towards her....and she stared mockingly at our clumsy steps. I don't know how many million creatures I trampled below one step - unaware of their existence only because I....I couldn't see them. But They were There!
As we drew close we saw several deer. We watched them closely. They looked at us & saw...two beings who've run only to catch a train knowing that there was another one following in 3 minutes. No we didn't deserve a second glance- they got back to doing what deer do at 2 pm on a Summer day. And we got back to doing what human beings do - gape and tape!
We stood still and didn't go any closer. But there was a bambi with countless questions, that I would like to believe ...took to us.
Bambi took a look at us and went to her Mother...Who are they?
Mother indifferently - Human beings.
She came to take another look and ran back to Mother; will they be staying with us?
No they will go in a few minutes.
Another 15 visits (each time grower bolder and coming closer) and inspection of us and another 15 questions answered while chewing on some grass.
FLASH!!!
Mother do they have a star?
...no thats only a stupid camera that looses its shine when the battery goes down.
Mother can I ask them to join us?
And then THAT look! No, not to dear bambi. But to us!!! That flash of maternal instinct - warning us to behave ourselves and retreat.
We felt guilty and ashamed of so many things- bambi's first lesson never to trust us.
This was the 2nd time a animal/bird had told me that I was invading their space by just one look! To be honest I really did nothing to provoke them , but then thats in MY court of justice. The other warning I had got was from a peacock in Foutainbleau . The peacock suddenly raised his splendid feathers and gave them a shake. If you think it is comparable to a dance - stop romanticizing! Imagine a hundred eyes glaring at you and telling you to back off! Beautiful sure...but dangerous :)
What I had expected I didn't get....I got the unexpected, which was much, much more than my expectations. So much that more than two months later I still feel like writing about it ...and still feel my words dont do justice to the experience.
Back in the tube with sunburnt skin, hair careless tied, muddy shoes (I fell in a mud pit while photographing some dragon flies!), kurti-jeans, dusty cap, jacket full of new found treasure ('beautiful' leaves, 'beautiful' flowers, 'beautiful' stone.....).... I look at my co passengers in their suits and evening gowns.
Do we stay in the same world?
I Dont know and I Dont want that to hear the answer to that question.
I just close my eye and live the experience I just had again......
{Written in '06}
