The Serenity Prayer

It's funny how some of the prayers I'd detest saying as a kid....had forgotten all about as years flew by....just come back to me when my spirits are low.

This one came just at the right time. My mind has many voices screaming out their unsolicited opinions.

But I'll let this prayer echo in the silence of my heart.

Lord,
give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.

Introspection and a Resolution

If I have to describe 2007 it would definitely be a year of great Introspection and Self Realization for me - Who Am I? What is my Purpose in Life? Where do I go to from here in Life?

I can't say I've found all my answers but I have definitely got a few and thought a lot about the others.

It is often the most simple experiences in life that have made me start questioning my Mind.

I spent 1 month in a village 100 kms from Bangalore
It was the first time I travelled in the front seat of a lorry :D!
I stayed there in my Sister's house with no neigbours around at a radius of 1 km.
With absolutely no form of electricity (they now generate solar power to meet all their requirements which don't include a tv, washing machine, mixer, fridge and so called 'essential' gizmo)
With no taps, no flowing water, just a manually operated tube well some 200 m away from the house.

-I planted a few saplings Banyan, Banana, Neem! Prepared a patch for Methi, which was later consumed :)!
-I pumped water manually - about 100 litres a day - real back breaking exercise! But lost a few kilos too :D! It's tougher than it looks, but something which gets real easy once the technique is mastered. Here's a Dummies Guide :P to Using a Hand Pump -
Bend at your waist, don't bend your back
Stand at a height so that you can use your body weight to pump out the water.
Don't bend your hands at the elbow or legs at the knees - keep them straight
Pump the water with rhythmic motion at a steady pace - you'll be able to go on for a long time without tiring easily
Look out for that bird, bee or butterfly....catch the sunrise or sunset :)

I watched almost 30 consecutive sunrises and sunsets :)! Brushed my teeth in the open while watching the the clear blue, pollution free skies hold up their shining trophy - the Sun! Yes I got up and slept with the Sun. All rise at 5:30am and finish dinner before it gets dark (no electricity you see!)

-Spotted a fox running in the open!
-Stepped several times on snake skin!!!
-Used hot water which was heated using various dry parts of the Coconut tree and cow dung cakes! Also used the paper cups used during the house warming party to help us heat water!

-I watched the Moon climb step by step into the dark night. The sky revealing all its secrets - its stars. I observed the stars and looked for musical notes that the arranged themselves in the tune of some grand celestial symphony maybe? Did a little bit of star gazing in the real sense :)

-Learnt the technique of mulching.
-Saw a rainbow bridging one end of the horizon to another :)! :)! :)!

-Realized that our family was using 1/10 the amount of water we used in Bangalore. Naturally, it was hard earned water....water we'd pumped using our sweat and energy....& not some pump run by electricity. We automatically used/ re used water sparingly. Infact, we used just what we needed. There was little if any wastage of water.

-Ate vegetables that had been picked from the fields just minutes before cooking.

I can go on writing about the experiences of a month - an experience like nothing else I've had in all my life.

But there are a few important things that I realised in the silent solitude I experienced close to nature.

There are really so few things one really needs for a comfortable life. I don't know why we complicate life - crave for things that Don't eventually lead to the Happiness we seek.

I couldn't live forever in such an environment. I've become to used to the idea that material comforts bring happiness. But I'm trying to change the way I think.

Cause... you know, suddenly, Nature in all it's beauty touched me like nothing else. When I came out of my self imposed exile and visited Bangalore - I was shaken by the noise, the pollution, the mad rush and the blind eyes of others that just didn't seem to notice it all!

I want my children to see that beautiful delicate pink flower, that spotted butterfly, that shy hare, the restless sparrow! I want them to be around!

I don't want my children to inherit a world less beautiful than what I got - because I left it in a mess!

I don't want to wait for the Government to change environmental policies, or companies to improve on their corporate social responsibilities or activists to go on a hunger strike. Nor do I want to put it off for the right time because I have personal commitments in life. I don't want to make excuses - I simply can't bear the guilt.

I want to be the Change I want to see in this World! I want to be significant to someone...something other than my family and friends! I know that I can and I want to make that difference...however insignificant!

I know I can't go completely green....but here's what I will do to pacify that inner voice that doesn't allow me to sleep at night. Small changes in lifestyle that I could implement easily ...not big sacrifice or lifestyle change like it was in the village. But small things I could really put to practice which would be my positive contribution.

I'll ask myself everyday-

- Did you carry extra bags to the market so that you didn't need to take a plastic bag?
- Did you walk that extra bit and avoid taking a cab or auto?
-Did you turn of all the extra lights that were on? Or switch of the computer, tv when not in use?
-Did you use water sparingly?
-Were both sides of paper used in a computer printout. Did you minimize taking printouts in the first place?
- Did I keep myself more aware of various environmental issues?
- Could I have given in a little less to temptation - avoided buying plastic non bio degradable stuff?
-Did I get my neices, nephews and youngsters I know to appreciate Nature in all its glorious forms? Cause only when you treasure it will you preserve it!

- Finally, did I haunt a few friends like you dear reader into implementing atleast some of the above yourselves and encouraging you to remind me incase I forgot? :)

For all those who are with me to make that change - a cap for you, made out of a cardboard pizza base cut in half, with waste paper made by yours truly (made for my nephew when he turned 3!). Yeah Recycle, Reuse and Renew!

Let's not blow it - Good planets are hard to find! :)

I Hope You Dance

You say you wanna get off
This ride around the Sun
You say ' I've had enough
And it hasn't been much fun'

But He's the one that decides
The rounds each of us do
And leaves us all complaining
Some say 'so many' and others say 'so few'

The wailing babe got one & Grandma got ninety
It's meant for your enemy, your love and the mighty
But there is just one thing and one thing that I know
He promises while it lasts, a high follows the low

So hang on a little longer
Don't you know this ride is free?
Each ride just makes one stronger
& Baby its not just you and me

I'd try to be in your shoes
(I know you wouldn't mind)
But only you can wipe out those blues
Cause your size just ain't my kind

You ask me where love is
In a friend or in a foe
Oh baby it exists where your heart is!
So seek proof of it no more

Ive been wondering what to do
So I gave a rhythm to this rhyme
I hope you know its for you
Will you dance to it in time?

If Wishes Had Wings ...My Heart Would Be The Launchpad .....

I'd Wish For -


Confidence that Life has in Death

Self Control that clouds have over rain unshed

Dependability that survival has on each breath

Sensitivity the blind have to read thoughts unsaid

Hope with which the dry earth looks up as dark clouds loom

Patience with which a tree waits to be in bloom

Humility which rises out of defeat

Dignity by which on sunrise the moon retreats

The keen desire to try and do,

Like a man has when his days are numbered and few



PS - Written in 2001 during Law class! I think subconsciously inspired by Tagore's This Is My Prayer I had read a few years before.
Will add on to this wish list :)!

I'll See You In Heaven ... I'll See You Again

If theres one thing that I remember about this photograph it is that I was looking at you ....& it was you who made me smile. (I'm the only girl not facing the camera! Sitting, second from the right)

I don't remember which Basketball win this was....or the names of some of the players. But I remember telling you that I get awfully tense while facing the camera I either look very serious or burst into giggles and look like an idiot. You had told me to just keep looking at you.

I did....& see what happened....

You're no where...... but you're still there.

To my dear friend.....

Just a few memories that are now left -

Of me praising you on how perfectly you polished your white keds & then stamping them dirty when you grinned proudly and then you reciprocating the favour & us both whitening our keds crazy with chalk on reaching school :D!

Of us returning from school by the Jadavpur Purbanchal bus...running, pushing...diving to get a place. Or hanging on to the bus door while giggling and chattering away.

Of you teasing me about the latest girls school heart throb from the boys school & pronouncing him to be the class's 'Pass Time Passion' or PTP as we referred to him on the sly when he was around in the bus!!! Of you ragging me when he got up to offer me a place to sit :D!

Of me acquainting you to all the highs and lows, figures and curves in Economics & Stats in exchange for you acquainting me to all the highs and lows, figures and curves ruling...well Filmfare :)

Of you and Mannu staying over at my place to get up early to stand in the line for college admission forms.

Of me feeling great that I'd got into the college of my choice...yet feeling bad that you both were not going to be there at the same college.

Of us loosing touch with the passage of time.

Of me getting to know about the shortage of time.

Of me in the knowledge today that those two years were all the time we would have on Earth together.

But Dear Friend.....I'll see you in heaven...I'll see you again