Gym Shim Karle Ve!

Have you been hit by this new wave of fitness consciouness among Bollywood actors? Wondered about having a 6 pack sculpted look, the size 0 raaz...& sat back eating a delicious samosa or indulging in some sugar solace after a hard days work thinking....kal...kal se pakka I'll go on a strict diet regime & hit the road or the gymn! & If you did make it to the gymn the next day...have you ever left it singing....Teri Galiyon Mein Na Rakhenge Kadam, Aaj ke baad? I have :D ! & You too kya? :D!

So I go (off & sometimes on :P) to this gymn in London which, don't-ask-why is called LA Fitness! It's fun to see a bloke sporting a Superman T-shirt working out, or someone drenched in perspiration wearing a Tshirt with 'I Rather Have A Shower' or another with the picture of Da Vinci's Vetruvian Man. Sorry, but you'll need to go elsewhere to read about the hot babes & their state of dress (or undress as maybe the case) ...I don't notice them. But initially I did look around hoping that there's at least someone as fat ..ooops I forgot no 'F' words on this blog ;) ...so shall I mildly put it as someone as 'unfit' as I am working out in the gym!

But 20 people on the treadmill running rhythmically while watching Livin La Vida Loca played on the LA Channel does make you want to run too! I feel as if I was Born to Run when I hear/watch songs like Whenever Wherever, Hips Don't Lie, Crazy in Love , 4 Minutes to Save the World , Give It To Me, Black or White, Jump , My Life Would Suck Without You .

Getting a little serious, I want to keep reminding myself (& you my friend) that exercising should become a part of our daily routine. Even if for 30 mins...even if like me you've given up & got back several times...it's worth it. As my Father would say When health is lost everything is lost!

I love the videos played at the gymn & the different radio channels available. But at heart I am a Desi Girl...& thought I should make a playlist on my i-pod of catchy Bollywood songs that would set the pace. Songs that push you further; make you go that extra metre or add another crunch! Breathing with the beats, mouthing those punch lines that brings on the adrenaline. So here's a small selection of songs I already have....& I do hope you would add some more!

On the TREADMILL

1. Love Mera Hit Hit (house mix), Billu- It starts- Are you ready? Tu Baby badi fit fit soniye na kar aise khit pit ;)!
2. Ankhiya Na Maar (remix), Ek Khiladi, Ek Haseena -Whhooooaaa Lets Go!
3. Khalbali, Rang De Basanti - Ziddiiiiiiiii ziddi ziddi armaan! Ziddi hai toofan! Ziddi hum bhi yahan!
4. Jee Le, Luck - Zara zara kal ko tu pe le, aur mar ke tu jee le! Mud ke na aayegi yeh zindagi...Jee Le!
5. Aye Bachchu, Ghajini - Jeene ka hai chaska to aaja treadmill pein :P
6. Race Sanson Ki, Race - My heart is racing now!
7. Fanaa, Yuva - Hone do dil ko fanaa, Hone do dard ko tabaah!
8. Ahista Ahista, Bacchna Ae Haseeno - doesn't really make you run ahista ahista ;)
9. Dhan Tan Nan, Kaminey - I think the Dhan Tan Nan is simply contagious & addictive.
10. Pyar Zindagi Hai, Muqaddar Ka Sikander -an old gem...Asha and Lata in the same song! Great beats!
11. Judai, Jannat - on days I'm not enjoying the run *)
12. To Phir Aao Mujhko Satao (Remix) - Ghum Le Ja Tere, Jo Bhi Tune Diye, Ya Phir Mujhko Bata, Inko Kaise Sahein ...on days you're hurting real bad :P
13. Chak De Phatte, Khosla ka Ghosla - Chak de phatte!

....& well so many more Saki Saki (Musafir), Chori Chori (Garam Masala),Ya Ali (Gangster)

For CARDIO VASCULAR workouts -Slower paced than ones for the treadmill.

1. Mahiya (remix), Awarapan - Tune aisi ada se mujhe dekha.....good beats
2. Zara Zara Touch Me, Race - Zara zara ooo ooo :P
3. Aaj Ki raat, Don the Chase Begins -Aaj ki raat khona hai kya (other than a few kilos)...paana hai kya (not kilos..naa ji na! :P)
4. Hai Junoon, New York - Say Hai Juno-oo-ooon! Hai Junoon sa seene mein... :D

WEIGHT TRAINING

1. Ye Raat, Aks - R'ber this one? I don't think you'd find a song more perfect than this Raveena Tandon one! Can't think of more right now!

STRETCHES - Something soft and melodious.

1. Mar Jawaan, Fashion and Zara Zara, Rehna Hai Tere Dil Mein - The husky voice is kind of relaxing
2. Yeh Lamha, Chameli - Thaki Thaki si sham fir jawaan hone lagi!
3. Kaise Mujhe Tu Mil Gayi, Ghajini - haule haule... dheere se...wrap up the training!

Hope this list turns one from being moti-weighted....to being motivated!

So as the song from Dil Bole Hadippa goes -
Ladies & Gentleman have a rocking rockout with a desi beat!
Oh gym-shim karle ve,
Oh slim-shim banle ve jor lage ke!!!

One Afternoon At The Museum

I ran up the steps to the National Art Gallery trying to make my way past the tourists. I didn't want to be stopped by one of them wanting me to take their picture near the fountain or grand lions! Don't get me wrong, I usually love to observe tourists...but not on that day. I was in a hurry. The task was simple. I had to go to the Gallery shop and pick up a poster of Van Gogh's Sunflowers and Monet's Water Lilies. Finish with Art and get to back to my daily business..asap!

But as soon as I stepped into the gallery I knew that I just had to see my personal favourites this time. I didn't want to allow myself to be drawn towards those paintings today! Only yesterday I'd brought two friends visiting from India and shown them the highlights of the museum ....the famous masterpieces by Van Gogh, Monet, Michelangelo, Da Vinci.

There's nothing like a few stolen moments of unplanned joy. After being spell bound by a few paintings I loved the most, I made my way to the Gallery shop to buy posters of the two paintings my friends had liked the previous day. What better souveneir to give them? A painting that we'd admired together!

I picked the posters and paid for them at the cash counter and when asked if I wanted a bag for them I replied that I'd like the posters in two separate bags please.
My mind was already mapping the route I should take to meet my friends when I looked up and noticed him for what he said. The tall, skinny, french bearded guy at the cash counter.

'Two bags! ...I was just thinking about the environment'

!!!

....my face must've fallen cause 'Hey no I'll pack them in two bags' followed soon after!

.... & that was it! How can I describe the emotions that over powered every thought and action subsequently? My thoughts lead me back to one of the wings of this huge gallery. I just walked past from one room to another lost in thought. Shops selling Japanese books would anyday have got more attention than those master pieces did then.

He charged me guilty and just dismissed me to attend to the next customer! Well who did this....this... 'Frenchie' think he was???.... admonishing me as if I were a child! Where's all the customer service gone to? I was carrying a rucksack as always...but that was for groceries, a bottle of water, books and umbrella & scarves....not for masterpieces!?! Was I then justified in having a holier-than-thou-attitude with respect to being 'environmentally conscious'? But it does look good to give a tourist a poster in a National Art Gallery bag which explicitly screams out 'I went to London'. But then the posters were already covered with cellophene paper did they need more packing? So for whom exactly and why was I taking the plastic bags? I had come specifically with the intention of buying those poster; I hadn't forgotton to carry cash so why hadn't I bothered to carry an appropriate bag??? I tried being a little soft on myself...afterall I almost always refused a plastic bag. But the little voice inside me just said louder that the pond with Monet's water lillies would soon be used as a landfill thanks to people like me! After all the debate and mental turmoil, I couldn't find any justification for my actions...there were none.

I suddenly woke up in a dimly lit quite room with some really old paintings & some art lovers as engrossed in them as I'd been in my thoughts. Ohh hell was that the time! I followed the signs on the doors and made my way to the main reception and then to the shop & was almost out of breath by the time I reached the shop's cash counter. The person at the counter couldn't have been more different; she was doing a double plastic wrap of the Van Gogh print 'Sunflowers' silk scarf. She informed me that Frenchie was off for his break. I must admit I felt quite lost and deflated. I should have darted out cause it was really getting late, but thought slowed my pace....& then I saw him again!

He was holding a canvas of a painting and responding to a customer's query. I couldn't see the painting from where I stood. But I know it was special. It had held his attention for a few extra seconds & kept him from disappearing. Why look for any other reason?

'Frenchie' looked at me and I read recognition in his eyes. I returned both the wretched plastic bags to him. I told him in my serious, apologetic and hurt voice that I'd wrapped the gifts in the newspaper I had in my bag & kept them carefully in the internal pocket. In a carefree yet warm manner he said that he worked part time at the Gallery, was doing a course on Art Appreciation, was a member of a Environmental Group ...and would I like to know more over a cup of coffee :)?

Notes
- Suggested reading - Plastic Bag Tree by Michael Rosen
- I hope to find a better heading than this Ben Stiller reminder!
-As written in September 2008

Childrens Poetry

In May this year I visited an exhibition on Childrens Poetry at the British Library. Would love to share some with you -

My Mother Saw A Dancing Bear by Charles Causley

The Spider And The Fly by Mary Howitt

The Butterfly's Ball and the Grasshopper's Feast by William Roscoe - jaha na jaye ravi...waha jaye kavi....what wonderful imagination!

Who Has Seen The Wind by Christina Georgina Rossetti

Monday's Child the well known nursery rhyme! According to the poem I'm supposed to be full of woe!!! Ohhh ho!

Colin Mc Naughton's version of the nursery rhyme is quite funny too!

The Months by Sara Coleridge. If the days of the week are learnt it time to learn the months :) ! A wonderful composition...but I don't think I'd have been able to relate to it growing up in India.

Halfway Down by A A Milne. The poem is as simple and sweet as his Winnie the Pooh... a long time favourite.

First Day at School by Roger Mc Gough - Bring back some childhood memories of how I'd look up at everyone & school did seem a millionbillionwillion miles away from home!

The Lamplighter by Robert Louis Stevenson - I love the way the 'little child' sets out what he wants to do when he's older. I guess we all go through the phase of ' I want to be...'. My nephew figured that he needs to know how to read & write cause only then would he get to be a truck driver & get a licence!


Children are Kites

Thanks Amrita for making me aware of this poem...I wouldn't have found it on the net!

You spend a lifetime trying to get them off the ground.
You run with them until you are both breathless.
They crash. They hit the rooftop.
You patch and comfort, adjust and teach.
You watch them lifted by the wind and assure them that someday they will fly.
Finally, they are airborne;
They need more string and you keep letting it out;
But with each twist of the ball of twine, there is a sadness that goes with joy.
The kite becomes more distant and you know it won’t be long before that beautiful creature will snap the lifeline that binds you two together and will soar, free and alone.
Only then do you know that you did your job.

Preeti got me all nostalgic with Mera Naya Bachpan by Subhadra Kumari Chauhan. I remember learning this poem in school....but I realised what a truly fine poem it is only now. It also reminded me of a poem I had studied in Class 3! I haven't found it on the net & can't remember anything but a few verses -

Socha karte hai hum bacche, Kya rakha hai bachpan mein
Sheeghra bade ho jaye hum bhi, Chah yahi rehti hai mann mein
Hum bhi rob jamaye sabh par, Moochche rakhkar badi badi
Overcoat pehankar ghoomein, Liye haat mein ek chhadi
.....
it ends with the line -
Bacche honge bade...badon ko bachcha kaun banayega!


& theres more soon! Watch this space....

A Night To Remember..... All Life Long!

Date - 5th November, 2008
Time - 8pm to 10:30pm
Venue - O2 Arena, London


Have you ever been one among 20,000 people singing 'Happy Birthday' all together? Especially when the Birthday 'Boy' is none other than Bryan Adams! No asking him how old he turned because he'll just sing 18 Till I Die!

He is singing Everything I do which was the first song of his I'd heard & loved way back in school....but it's no longer a fav...9/10 on Mush-o-meter! He goes on to Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman - I know you'll find it weird...but I love the guitar in the song...but I find the lyrics a little creepy :P So well....Please Forgive Me!

Ohh wow...now we're off to experience the Summer of 69 - An all time fav! If you have gone through several practice sessions & finally sung on stage with accompaniment ...even one song....I'm sure you've thought of how great it would be to form a band & perform many many more times :)! How awesome it would be to play your first real 6 string till your fingers bled! Each time I hear this song it has a new meaning....Time & Music ...such memory churners!

Then there was Back to You ...one of my Treadmill favourites!

Absolutely love this one! He starts the song like the way I want it...the way its gotto be....making his guitar sound as if he was smooching & saying...Hey Baby Talk To Me, C'mon Talk to Me Baby....ohh how the crowd loves it...& when he actually gets on his knees while doing what he should the crowd wildly responded - 'If Ya Wanna Be Bad Yeah Ya Gotto Be Good' ....& whoaa! he is Gooood! :D!

I tell you these guys are amazing! Bryan Adams steps aside & lets his best friend,lead guitarist Keith Scott display his skills in a 'showcase song'. Scott's fabulous....he drives the crowd wild with his guitar. Later Adams gets back to playing the guitar & harmonica & singing! The Best Of Me & I Ain't Losin the Fight..got my Heart on Fire. Just hoping he doesn't Stop The Thing We Started!

& if the atmosphere isn't already charged Let Make a Night To Remember just made it one that I'd r'ber all life long. What an incredibly sensuous song! He most definitely turned me Inside Out ..love this one & no I don't find this one creepy :)!
We're all up and dancing....The Only Thing That Looks Good on Me Is You! We're rhythmically jumping & pointing our hands towards him & screaming back 'You' :D! The song goes on for longer with almost a jugalbandi sort of effect which ends up sounding like an echo of YOUs...some short YOUs, some long YUUUUUOs, some high YOUs, some low YOUs, some almost barking YOU & others yelling YOUs! YOOOHOOO!

phew!

The night's drawing to an end.. he asks us to turn our mobile on..I do....& so do thousands of others & wow ...Tonight We Have the Stars which lead us to Cloud No. 9! I feel like I'm floating.. isn't too hard to see we're in Heaven! I'm breathing in the darkness...in the twinkling light, between the chords & the pause, through the highs & the sighs, amongst so many people & yet all by myself...& each breath gives me a higher high.

11 concerts in 11 countries, 11 cities in 11 days to release the album 11....& One Unforgettable Night!

The Great Bath

We'd walked a few metres to the hand pump with a bucket, mug, towels & the two kids squealing & shouting in excitement - the excitmenet was no less than that at the Dassra procession in Mysore! The kids were really excited as they were going to be given a bath at the hand pump, under the blue skies....oh how they love it!

As I started pumping water a lizard jumped out from the spout & brought back memories of my childhood & years as a teenager.

Aai has always complained about how quickly I grew independent & wouldn't let anyone give me a bath once I was 4-5 years. I think she was scared of me. I'd run about the house with her trying to catch me & when I'd got a bit of a lead I'd simply dart into the bathroom & arm myself with a mugful of water (since I couldn't reach the high door bolt)....dare anyone try to enter the bathroom! After her warning me on several occassions & me flinging water....full force.....she finally gave up! Ya wild thing I was! :P

I'm no Cleopatra who is said to have bathed herself in milk everyday! Good Heavens! I'd rather use all that milk in basundi (=thickened milk sweet) than in my bath tub! Nor did the idea of a Roman Bath appeal to me. You see...it's not just a bath that I'd enjoy...it was the bathroom...the only place at home where by closing one door I opened another door; one that was a passage to a whole new world.

I was perhaps the most enegetic bathroom singer you've ever known...& undoubtedly the loudest! I was teasingly informed many times that the gentleman living 10 houses away had complained about the noise I made, or that donkeys had collected outside the house! I'd play antakshari with myself...sing all the 'cheap' songs. Aai would say - You can at least practice your classical singing lessons! She didn't get it did she? It was another world for me...despite what they said I felt I couldn't be heard on the other side of the door cause we were in two different worlds.

My world was a place where I could -

- sing & dance to the songs I'd never dared to perform in Aai's presence.... become Amitabh Bachchan with the bathroom mug full of water (since there was no beer!) singing ...Aree o jummaa, meri jaaneman, baahar nikal .... :P!.. to... becoming Madhuri performing ...'Mohini Mohini..Namashkar..kahiye kya sunenge aap?' (the song Ek Do Teen).
Things couldn't have been more surreal.


-shed the tears that I never allowed to escape in Aai's presence ..become the 11 year old who' was all confused and upset after her Dad's demise. The tap & I would gradually quieten as we filled buckets.
Could things have been more real?

In the bathroom I discovered my world....I dreamt....& I decided how to live.

I didn't mind some neighbours calling me Zeenie Baby as a teenager cause Chura Liya was a Bathroom chartbuster...with a badminton raquet I sneaked inside the bathroom & the tap as a mike :D! For mobility I'd just fix a pipe to the tap & move around holding the pipe as my mike, the upturned buckets my drums, the stick used to soak the clothes my drum stick :P If the lamps lit up because of Tansen's rendition in Deepak Raga, my roof shattering singing made Phnom Penh my Lizard & bathroom buddy fall straight off the ceiling in a frenzy! I was obviously enthused by that & subsequently sang even louder in operatic style hoping that one day it would dive straight into the the pot! 'Dhooom'...or ehh.... more realistically...'Splash' I suppose (Lizards are not the most graceful creatures you know) .... Phnom Penh, my first admirer, he'd stare hypnotized when I'd sing aloud. I'd name him so after a Country-Capital lesson in Class 5. How can I ever forget the look on his face when I sang? & can you beleive my Aai & my Sister would try to drive him away from the bathroom...Phnom Penh!!!....the ONE ardent admirer of mine!

If you're not bored let me continue...we had 2 buckets in the bathroom - one dark blue and one red. The dark blue one served the purpose of a night sky and the red was like the gaudy red seats of the Royal Albert Hall or some hall I'd seen a picture of music conductor Zubin Mehta performing. The hard water would leave salt deposits on the buckets - as the red bucket was used to store water it had concentric circles which served as rows. I would put the empty bucket on over my head and sing into it as if im singing solo to an audience at the RA Hall :D Same with the blue one - orbits in my Solar system - me being the Sun around which the planets and stars are about. The light bulb coming through the translucent plastic would create a perfect mahol :) I would stand on a wooden stool ( podium sorts) and deliver lectures into the bucket! Mind you the accoustics in the bucket and closed bathroom with high ceilings was fanastic! At the end of all this when I would FINALLY emerge out of the bathroom my Dad would give me a standing ovation and say - what a good show that was!!! :D And Aai would say - '..and the show must go on' & push my dear elder sister( who was tired of waiting for me to get out) in for a bath and tell her to hurry up! :D

Of course there would be special bathroom treats. Some days shining katoris & spoons called for a Jal Tarang recital in my favourite room. On others I'd take a perforated vessel/sieve & pour warm water through that on top of my head - a warm shower bath! On days I didn't mind pushing my luck I'd soap the bathroom floor & skate in the little place it offered!

Ya ya ...by now I'm sure all your sympathy goes out to my Mother and the soap-in-the-eye baths she tried giving me!

Kacchi Dabeli Anyone? ;)

:P !

The Light In Your Eyes

I was standing at the aisle which had tomatoes in this huge supermarket, wondering which tomatoes to buy! Yup! Cause there were vine tomatoes, cherry tomatoes, normal tomatoes, the organic variety, reduced price ones, tomatoes sold loose, in trays of 4/ 6 pieces or in bags of different weights & I'm not going into which country they were imported from! As usual I stood there for a few seconds wondering what to pick up...sour ones, sweet ones, ripe ones, dry or juicy ones....!

I felt the presence of a thin man, around 6 feet tall near me trying to pick some tomatoes. What made me look up to his face was that he was feeling the different crates and their contents rather than picking the tomatoes. I realised he was blind & my natural, spontaneous reaction was to guardedly observe him. His hands seemed to be restlessly looking for something & I looked around to see if anyone else in the same aisle was watching him. But no I was the only one. I wondered if he was looking for a plastic bag & observed that there wasn't a bag roll on the tomatoe side of the aisle. If he wanted a bag did he need anyone to get him one?

He suddenly spoke very loudly - Can I get a bag? I had in anticipation, unconciously moved to the bag roll stand already. Quickly gave him the 2 bags I snatched from the stand. He mumbled a careless sort of 'Thanks' & also surprised me with his agility when he felt one bag slip & ducked down to save it from falling to the ground! I unnecessarily suppressed a complex smile. A happy smile in admiration of his reflexes mixed with a guilty one that wondered why I had been so gifted with sight. There are times where I feel apologetic and guilty for what I have; I know it is not right to feel so...but well I do at times.

He then said - Where are the potatoes? This is the first time I'm at this Tesco (the super market)
I replied - They're on the other side of this aisle, 3rd crate ahead from where you are now.
He said - 'Cheers mate', and moved on.

My directions and his instincts led him and the first crate he touched was the one with Potatoes!

A happy smile escaped and spread across my face.

The fact is my mind was full of confused, uncomfortable questions when I realised he was blind. I didn't know whether at that moment he felt his cup was half full or half empty.....& I didn't know whether he wanted or needed any help or how he would react to my 'helping hand'.

I then realised that I was the one with all the complicated questions about life while he gave me the answers. He told me his cup was half full :) !

Ironically, I felt that I was the one who needed the help and guidance to handle my confused feelings :)

I got back to my Tomato problem while he had already finished filling his second bag with potatoes and had moved on :)

Pointless Distance

Perhaps this will remain a silent soliloquy...
Of words longing for their souls to be free,
But in your understanding does lie the key,
That what is, is not what you see.


The air's bereft of friendship's blooming fragrance,
Only lasting memories give past their credence,
Now all that lies is this pointless distance,
Some sinking shadows, some stalking silence.


In the dark hours the regretful Psyche,
Does wonder of what was and what might be...
The lamp so lit, lost was all she could see,
In time will you regressa a mi?

Lunatic Lows

...She does not wane, but my fortune,
Which her rays do not bless,
My wayward path declineth soon,
But she shines not the less.

And if she faintly glimmers here,
And paled is her light,
Yet always in her proper sphere
She's mistress of the night.

- Selected verses by Henry Thoreau

Perhaps some of you will think - 'Aah what a typical Cancerian - governed by the Moon'. Others will tick me off as a lunatic. But after the memorable Solar eclipse; last night, I was really looking forward to the Partial Lunar Eclipse ... and greatly disappointed that I couldn't even see the Moon!

If you have ever snail walked with me some night you'd remember that I have pointed out the mesmerising, magical, playful Moon who's presence may not have registered in your mind. She excites even the mighty ocean....mine is but a mortal heart!

I'd been noting the movements of the Moon so that I'd know where to look for her on the 16th.
Last night both of us were really tired after a long day doing this and that. After a hurried dinner I wanted to catch the eclipsed Moon climbing. But I couldn't see her from the staircase in the building...which she too has been climbing past few days. So we both walked out on the desolate streets to become aware that it was drizzling & was quite cloudy!

With me singing -
Chand pe daag hai yeh jaante hum lekin
Raat bhar dekhe bina usko raha nahi jaata
...khoobsurat hai woh itna saha nahi jaata...

But the Moon did not greet us. Shadowed by the Earth....hidden by the clouds.

Ohh! Trophy of the Night ..where were you?
Upon whom did your gaze linger?
Could you not offer so much as one fleeting glimpse?

Seeking the Celestial

Last Friday I'd gone to the Royal Observatory to catch the Partial Solar Eclipse. It was truly an out of the world experience!

Left home at around 8am....takes about an hour to the Royal Observatory from home. They opened early that morning to let the public observe the eclipse.

The Royal Observatory from Greenwich Park

The atmosphere was fully charged. With children chanting a countdown in the moments before the eclipse started & screaming out that they were the first to spot the beginning of the eclipse!

The coverage was partial (12% by area) over London. Nevertheless, I was quite excited...to see the Moon orbiting the Earth orbiting the Sun! It was beautiful to see the Moon just glide across the face of the Sun.

The photo was taken using a Coronado telescope. The Coronado telescope has a 'hydrogen-alpha' filter - it lets through the red colour light emitted by the hydrogen gas on the Sun. The Observatory staff was really helpful and enthusiastic. Did remember Professor Yashpal & his coverage of the eclipse on Doordarshan !

It was a little difficult to get the shot of the eclipse for several reasons - there were many people wanting to observe through the telescope hence we got little time to take photos. So it was important that my eyes got the exact angle to catch the eclipse through the telescope & my hands didn't shake with excitement (& ya I do suck at photography!) and importantly.... no lazy cloud drifted by at that exact moment!

I suppose you can tell how thrilled I was about it !

PS - For MSB - Geographer & my eternal guiding star

View from the observatory
The London Eye, Queen's house, wings of National Maritime Museum, the towers of Citigroup, HSBC and others

The Serenity Prayer

It's funny how some of the prayers I'd detest saying as a kid....had forgotten all about as years flew by....just come back to me when my spirits are low.

This one came just at the right time. My mind has many voices screaming out their unsolicited opinions.

But I'll let this prayer echo in the silence of my heart.

Lord,
give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.

Dead But Not Asleep

I closed my eyes and held my breath
The wait just seemed so endless
And when I felt I could take no more
I heard a voice, a strange calm it bore

A pale and melancholy form did I behold
Of someone who would take me in her fold
And lead me to joys unfelt...untold
A vision I longed to touch and hold

I waved at loved ones on either bank
No more talk of my ship that sank
I've finally found my vision my goal
Thank God I've finally found my soul

In a strange delirium I ran down the stream
I ran and ran to hold on to that dream
Her twinkling eyes like million moon beams
Under her gaze the pebbles like petals did seem

But wait have I come far and gone astray
I look back ..theres no one even far away
Just then her sweet anklet music did play
And once more in her promises did I sway

Hopes are for those who believe in tomorrow
Future for those who have some 'time' to borrow
The inner shadows of myself did I follow
Dreams that are dark, deep and hollow

I found myself in the ocean of such streams
There were many who had tried living their dreams
Had I lost myself or found myself in my dreams
I know I will not find answers -No...not even in my dreams

PS - A poem of the past

All The World's A Stage

All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players:
They have their exits and and their entrances;

....The famous soliloquy from Shakespeare's As You Like It.

& there can't be a more magnificent stage than Life itself & yes...the dramatic setting of the 750 seater Minnack Theatre!

With its vertigo inducing seating and circular amphitheatre thrusting out over the Atlantic, it's an unforgettable place to watch a play.

Guess what it was built piece by piece by an eccentric Rowena Cade...who carted the wood, sand & stone from the beach in a battered wheel barrow! The first production was Shakespeare's The Tempest.

I had probably seen the picture of this place in my childhood....or maybe it was a place I'd visited in my dreams! I was just so excited! I unashamedly took a bow on the stage...whatta brilliant performance I'd just given :D! Just when I'd lost all inhibitions....I heard a loud voice from behind saying - 'Dekho Dekho woh ladki kaise pose maar rahi hai' I turned around to see 4 desi junta watching me ...without realising that I could understand what they'd just said! I gave them one of my ' :D' .....dazzlers ;) !

So among the white sands, turquoise ocean, blue skies....there was a blushing red me! :P :P :P !

PS - Ok since I was writing about a theatre....by sheer coincidence I seem to be listening to Dil Dance Maare Re, Tashan. I can't help laughing at the rustic & ballistic lyrics and this 'Theatre Booking' verse in particular -

Hoye… tohare dil ka theatre ma aaa….
Tohare dil ka theatre ma
Dil deewana booking advance maare re!!!

lol :D!

Tug Of War

It's just one of the days of dilemma
When my heart and mind speak a different language

The inner voice echoes in the depths of silence
And silence tries to deafen the voice to a memory.

To win or loose

To give to each moment or to take from each moment

To find happiness in myself or to find it in others

To live this moment as if its the last I have
Or as if it's the first of the rest of my life

To silence your words
Or word my silence

To tell you to get lost
Or to get lost in you

ps - I chose to win and loose

Introspection and a Resolution

If I have to describe 2007 it would definitely be a year of great Introspection and Self Realization for me - Who Am I? What is my Purpose in Life? Where do I go to from here in Life?

I can't say I've found all my answers but I have definitely got a few and thought a lot about the others.

It is often the most simple experiences in life that have made me start questioning my Mind.

I spent 1 month in a village 100 kms from Bangalore
It was the first time I travelled in the front seat of a lorry :D!
I stayed there in my Sister's house with no neigbours around at a radius of 1 km.
With absolutely no form of electricity (they now generate solar power to meet all their requirements which don't include a tv, washing machine, mixer, fridge and so called 'essential' gizmo)
With no taps, no flowing water, just a manually operated tube well some 200 m away from the house.

-I planted a few saplings Banyan, Banana, Neem! Prepared a patch for Methi, which was later consumed :)!
-I pumped water manually - about 100 litres a day - real back breaking exercise! But lost a few kilos too :D! It's tougher than it looks, but something which gets real easy once the technique is mastered. Here's a Dummies Guide :P to Using a Hand Pump -
Bend at your waist, don't bend your back
Stand at a height so that you can use your body weight to pump out the water.
Don't bend your hands at the elbow or legs at the knees - keep them straight
Pump the water with rhythmic motion at a steady pace - you'll be able to go on for a long time without tiring easily
Look out for that bird, bee or butterfly....catch the sunrise or sunset :)

I watched almost 30 consecutive sunrises and sunsets :)! Brushed my teeth in the open while watching the the clear blue, pollution free skies hold up their shining trophy - the Sun! Yes I got up and slept with the Sun. All rise at 5:30am and finish dinner before it gets dark (no electricity you see!)

-Spotted a fox running in the open!
-Stepped several times on snake skin!!!
-Used hot water which was heated using various dry parts of the Coconut tree and cow dung cakes! Also used the paper cups used during the house warming party to help us heat water!

-I watched the Moon climb step by step into the dark night. The sky revealing all its secrets - its stars. I observed the stars and looked for musical notes that the arranged themselves in the tune of some grand celestial symphony maybe? Did a little bit of star gazing in the real sense :)

-Learnt the technique of mulching.
-Saw a rainbow bridging one end of the horizon to another :)! :)! :)!

-Realized that our family was using 1/10 the amount of water we used in Bangalore. Naturally, it was hard earned water....water we'd pumped using our sweat and energy....& not some pump run by electricity. We automatically used/ re used water sparingly. Infact, we used just what we needed. There was little if any wastage of water.

-Ate vegetables that had been picked from the fields just minutes before cooking.

I can go on writing about the experiences of a month - an experience like nothing else I've had in all my life.

But there are a few important things that I realised in the silent solitude I experienced close to nature.

There are really so few things one really needs for a comfortable life. I don't know why we complicate life - crave for things that Don't eventually lead to the Happiness we seek.

I couldn't live forever in such an environment. I've become to used to the idea that material comforts bring happiness. But I'm trying to change the way I think.

Cause... you know, suddenly, Nature in all it's beauty touched me like nothing else. When I came out of my self imposed exile and visited Bangalore - I was shaken by the noise, the pollution, the mad rush and the blind eyes of others that just didn't seem to notice it all!

I want my children to see that beautiful delicate pink flower, that spotted butterfly, that shy hare, the restless sparrow! I want them to be around!

I don't want my children to inherit a world less beautiful than what I got - because I left it in a mess!

I don't want to wait for the Government to change environmental policies, or companies to improve on their corporate social responsibilities or activists to go on a hunger strike. Nor do I want to put it off for the right time because I have personal commitments in life. I don't want to make excuses - I simply can't bear the guilt.

I want to be the Change I want to see in this World! I want to be significant to someone...something other than my family and friends! I know that I can and I want to make that difference...however insignificant!

I know I can't go completely green....but here's what I will do to pacify that inner voice that doesn't allow me to sleep at night. Small changes in lifestyle that I could implement easily ...not big sacrifice or lifestyle change like it was in the village. But small things I could really put to practice which would be my positive contribution.

I'll ask myself everyday-

- Did you carry extra bags to the market so that you didn't need to take a plastic bag?
- Did you walk that extra bit and avoid taking a cab or auto?
-Did you turn of all the extra lights that were on? Or switch of the computer, tv when not in use?
-Did you use water sparingly?
-Were both sides of paper used in a computer printout. Did you minimize taking printouts in the first place?
- Did I keep myself more aware of various environmental issues?
- Could I have given in a little less to temptation - avoided buying plastic non bio degradable stuff?
-Did I get my neices, nephews and youngsters I know to appreciate Nature in all its glorious forms? Cause only when you treasure it will you preserve it!

- Finally, did I haunt a few friends like you dear reader into implementing atleast some of the above yourselves and encouraging you to remind me incase I forgot? :)

For all those who are with me to make that change - a cap for you, made out of a cardboard pizza base cut in half, with waste paper made by yours truly (made for my nephew when he turned 3!). Yeah Recycle, Reuse and Renew!

Let's not blow it - Good planets are hard to find! :)

I Hope You Dance

You say you wanna get off
This ride around the Sun
You say ' I've had enough
And it hasn't been much fun'

But He's the one that decides
The rounds each of us do
And leaves us all complaining
Some say 'so many' and others say 'so few'

The wailing babe got one & Grandma got ninety
It's meant for your enemy, your love and the mighty
But there is just one thing and one thing that I know
He promises while it lasts, a high follows the low

So hang on a little longer
Don't you know this ride is free?
Each ride just makes one stronger
& Baby its not just you and me

I'd try to be in your shoes
(I know you wouldn't mind)
But only you can wipe out those blues
Cause your size just ain't my kind

You ask me where love is
In a friend or in a foe
Oh baby it exists where your heart is!
So seek proof of it no more

Ive been wondering what to do
So I gave a rhythm to this rhyme
I hope you know its for you
Will you dance to it in time?

Music Mantra 2007

Another year full of dancing to life's tune. A year that just seemed so much simpler when it was accompanied by some memorable music.

Some of the songs that I heard again and again .... and may keep hearing for many years to come are -

Beetein Lamhe - The Train
It feels like ages since a song about lost love and the lingering memories ever touched me so much as this one! The tormenting, heart breaking poetry, the soulful guitar, piano & saxophone (?) and KK brilliant rendition makes this the my most heard song this year! I hear the song line by line .... the way a much treasured memory is revisited ..... one almost feels as if it is being lived again .... only to realise that that the moment is long lost.
The 'paradise lost' feel to this song reminds me of another all time favourite of mine -

Din Dhal Jaye Haye Raat Na Jaye, Guide
The particular verse -

Aisi Rimjhim Aisi Puhaaren
Aisi Hi Thi Barsaat
Khud Se Judaa Aur Jug Se Paraaye
Hum Dono The Saath
Phir Se Woh Saawan Ab Kyon Na Aaye
Din Dhal...

To Phir Aao Mujhko Satao (remix) - Awarapan
On a dark, warm and weary evening this mesmerising track just leaves me in a trance. It has a certain hypnotic quality to it - the way Mustafa Zahid desperately mouths- Aa Bhi Jao, Aa Bhi Jao I feel like getting up and ja-o-ing :D!

Laree Chhooti - Ek Challis Ki Last Local
Wow! Was what I said when I heard this one first! I love the positivity of the song and the way Abhay Deol with his laid back, jo bhi hoga dekha jayega attitude turns the song and his kismat around in those 4 minutes! The song has a soft rock feel to it.The guitar just makes one pick up even a badminton racquet and strum :D!

Tere Bin - Delhi Heights
A song I didn't understand straight away but my heart probably did! Wanted to make P hear it immediately. When I read the translation ... :) .... I couldn't wait for him to hear it :)! If you haven't heard this song closely please do. I don't feel like describing a song so close to my heart :)!

Mahiya (original and remix) - Awarapan
Hmmm original or remix? Well I think I love them both. I'd chose Mahiya (the slow original one by Annie) incase I feel like dancing. She fits in some belly dancing steps in her live version! But if I'm vacuuuming the house it's gotto be the Suzanne remix one. A peppy number. Thanks Sushil for getting me hooked to the original almost a month before the music of Awarapan released.

It's Rocking (remix)
Try standing or sitting straight while listening to this song - No don't just smile and read on - Just try! I can almost scientifically prove it to be impossible :D! Even my chair dances to this song! Seriously - its rocking....what say Samir ;)?

Ye Ishq Haye Baithe Bithaye Jannat Dikhaye - Jab We Met
Thanks Samir for this groovy one! We both got fooled by the crispy perky voice and mistook it for Alisha Chinai! Whooaaaa!!! This turned out to be Ms. Ghoshal! I've always felt her coy, sweet voice reminded me of Geeta Dutt. But this song just tells me that the Alisha Chinais, Sunidhi Chauhans and Suzannes should watch out for Ms. Ghoshal crossing over to what until now was their forte.

Mayya Mayya - Guru
Love the Arabic touch. Reminds me of Satrangi Re (Dil Se). A part of the music seems similar to San Sanana (Asoka), I guess both took it from a Safri Duo track. All the same great track for some dance :)!

Maula Mere - Anwar
Ohhhh! the sheer poetry and mesmerising, hypnotic feel to the song.
The words that worship -
Mujhse yeh har ghadi, mere lab kahe
teri hi ho sab guftagoo

The love that gets possessive -
Rakh loon chhupa ke mein kahin tujhko
saaya bhi tera na main doon

This song makes me close my eyes and listen.....feel.

Another song I love for similar reasons is Ajab Si ( Om Shanti Om)

Dhoom Again (Dhoom 2)
The song does give you a feeling of deja vu. The superb drum beats, whistle, bongo (?) and the image ( I must admit) of Greek God looking Hrithik! I just go - Once more common you people Dhoom Machale Dhoom! Sounds dramatic, grand and of course catchy! Louder I play this the more I love it!

Bol Na Halke - Jhoom Barabar Jhoom
A beautiful blend of the flute, guitar and santoor (?) The sincere voice of Rahat Fateh Ali Khan (invariably land up listening to Jiya Dhadak Dhadak from Kalyug too) and sweet melody of Meenakshi Iyer's voice just create magic. The lyrics are incredibly romantic too.

Aaoge Jab Tum Saajana - Jab We Met
Kasak - Chhodo Na Yaar are songs I love to hear in succession.

Mausam (The Train) , Chak De Phattey ( Khosla Ka Ghosla), Mind Blowing Mahiya ( Cash), Hello ( Speed), O Yaara Dhol Bajake ( Dhol), JBJ ( Jhoom Barabar Jhoom), Sajanaji Vaari Vaari ( Honeymoon Travels)

FROM 2006

Dheemey Dheemey -Bas Ek Pal
Bas Ek Pal (remix) -Bas Ek Pal
Ye Meri Kahani - Strings, Zinda
Maula - Zinda
Beedi - Omkara
Mitwa - KANK
Dekho Na - Fanaa


I've really enjoyed this post a great deal - cause it gave me the opportunity to write so much about my first love - Music!

For me Music is the Food of Love and all I say is - Play On....

If Wishes Had Wings ...My Heart Would Be The Launchpad .....

I'd Wish For -


Confidence that Life has in Death

Self Control that clouds have over rain unshed

Dependability that survival has on each breath

Sensitivity the blind have to read thoughts unsaid

Hope with which the dry earth looks up as dark clouds loom

Patience with which a tree waits to be in bloom

Humility which rises out of defeat

Dignity by which on sunrise the moon retreats

The keen desire to try and do,

Like a man has when his days are numbered and few



PS - Written in 2001 during Law class! I think subconsciously inspired by Tagore's This Is My Prayer I had read a few years before.
Will add on to this wish list :)!

I'll See You In Heaven ... I'll See You Again

If theres one thing that I remember about this photograph it is that I was looking at you ....& it was you who made me smile. (I'm the only girl not facing the camera! Sitting, second from the right)

I don't remember which Basketball win this was....or the names of some of the players. But I remember telling you that I get awfully tense while facing the camera I either look very serious or burst into giggles and look like an idiot. You had told me to just keep looking at you.

I did....& see what happened....

You're no where...... but you're still there.

To my dear friend.....

Just a few memories that are now left -

Of me praising you on how perfectly you polished your white keds & then stamping them dirty when you grinned proudly and then you reciprocating the favour & us both whitening our keds crazy with chalk on reaching school :D!

Of us returning from school by the Jadavpur Purbanchal bus...running, pushing...diving to get a place. Or hanging on to the bus door while giggling and chattering away.

Of you teasing me about the latest girls school heart throb from the boys school & pronouncing him to be the class's 'Pass Time Passion' or PTP as we referred to him on the sly when he was around in the bus!!! Of you ragging me when he got up to offer me a place to sit :D!

Of me acquainting you to all the highs and lows, figures and curves in Economics & Stats in exchange for you acquainting me to all the highs and lows, figures and curves ruling...well Filmfare :)

Of you and Mannu staying over at my place to get up early to stand in the line for college admission forms.

Of me feeling great that I'd got into the college of my choice...yet feeling bad that you both were not going to be there at the same college.

Of us loosing touch with the passage of time.

Of me getting to know about the shortage of time.

Of me in the knowledge today that those two years were all the time we would have on Earth together.

But Dear Friend.....I'll see you in heaven...I'll see you again

Gandhi Jayanti

Last Friday we visited the State Rooms at the Buckingham Palace where an exhibition marking the 60th Wedding Anniversary of the Queen was on. There were expensive gifts... and there were ridiculously expensive gifts.

But my eyes were seeking the cheapest and yet priceless gift of them all!

The specific gift I was looking for was - a cloth woven from the yarn specially spun by Mahatma Gandhi for the Queen bearing the words 'Jai Hind'. Do read more about it here.

As children we would enjoy the day off at home. My Mother would force us to watch 'Gandhi' the movie by Richard Attenborough. I remember finding the movie very boring and cursing Doordarshan for showing the same movie 3 times a year ... year after year - on Independence and Republic Day and on 2nd October. They're saving money on hiring another movie I would say :D!

With the passing years 2nd October completely lost its significance. It became a day- off between two exams and later an 'unofficial' working day.
If I did enjoy a holiday, Doordarshan was definitely not the channel I was watching!

Two years back I read Louis Fischer's - The Life of Mahatma Gandhi.
Why I read it ...I really don't know....but I have developed an interest in our history.
Maybe because in a strange way I feel more 'Indian' here than I have ever felt back home in India.

Here, after seeing oh- so-many programmes on the many wars Britain has fought... have I developed a great admiration and respect for our powerful yet non-violent Struggle for Independence. Here our experiences seem more real and not just page in my History book.

A friend once remarked that though Gandhiji is probably the strongest symbol of Non Violence and despite being nominated 5 times he was never awarded the Nobel Prize. I doubt if it would have mattered either way to him. Do read the article on the Missing Laureate.

"Generations to come, it may be, will scarce believe that such one as this ever in flesh and blood walked upon this earth". -A Einstein on M K Gandhi

This year I watched the movie 'Gandhi' on tv on 15 August in London..... & my Mother was not here forcing me!

Yes, I guess I'm evolving very slowly....and trying, in a small way, to be the change I (you) wish to see in the world.